Twittering Idiots Lessen, as People Find Life

If updating your status on twitter is called tweeting then the person doing the updating must be a twit or maybe a twidiot. This is obviously a condensed and mentally challenged form of social networking. It is like twitter is the quarter-wit brother of half-wit facebook.

This author heard sometime back that Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were the most followed and were tweeting very regulary. Ashton should stop wasting time wanking off to Striptease while tweeting , and instead grab that old but sexy Demi and show her who her daddy is. Then again he doesn’t want jump Demi only to find out it’s actually that walking accident Brittany Murphy wearing a mission impossible style Demi moor ‘make-me-sexy’ mask and that he’d been well and truly punked! What about the idiots (yes you) that slavishly followed the ass-hat adventures of Ashton on twitter? Did you think that you could vicariously cop a feel from Demi Moore, despite the fact that Ashton hasn't been able to satisfy her, an any conceivable way yet? Well? So how does it feel to be confronted by one sexy MILF and not be able to get it up, and instead have to slink away into the toilet and introduce yourself to Mrs Palm and her 5 daughters.

Good news is that people are finally giving twitter the proverbial finger and leaving. Because, at the end of the day, no one want’s to know, when, what and for how long Kevin Bacon took a shit or when Christopher Walken got caught cheating on his right hand with his left, in the attic. People have realized that there is a life out there and that daily chores such as having a shit and maybe a wank – though may sound exotic when other celebs are doing it – is still best done by yourself. Well done people I’m impressed. Let's go find life and leave freeze-dried social networking to peadophiles that masquerade as little boys and pimply little boys who masquerade as little girls.

Facebook Observations

These days facebook and twitter seem to be all the rage. When I mean rage I mean rage like Alec Baldwin going off (not getting off) on his daughter. Every Tom Dick, Harriet and Mr-Ass has a facebook account today. Even companies, talk shows, beggars on the street, pet gerbils, half dead grannies and fully dead grannies for that matter, are on facebook. So what has precipitated this massive religious-like fervent interest in facebook that is the envy of scientology and the late David Koresh?

The old definition of a social networking site was a place where a geek would go to seek like minded geeks. But only after his/her eyes started to water continuously after playing WarCraft for three straight days, his/her supply of redbull or tissue paper ran out and his/her right hand/finger got tired or maybe the batteries in 'that' device ran out.

However, now these sites are keenly visited by so called 'normal' people. In fact hot -potential cheerleader- chicks with really really really nice boobs are now being real geeks by spending days in front of their dainty little apples because of facebook.

People have hundreds of friends they would never be caught dead with in real life and know the most intimate details of when these people are going to the crapper, what they are having for lunch, what's currently making them sad, happy, horny or constipated. Most people constantly keep refreshing the browser for hours on end in the faint hope that something will change, like one of their so called friends suddenly getting the runs or someone posting a video of a rabbit humping a chicken.

Many people claim that facebook replaces face to face meetings with people? I don't think so. Not unless your PC can put her hand down your pants and grab your privates- we will always need a real person to do that. How much fun really can sex be in worlds like Second Life? Not a lot of fun, especially if that hot bikini-clad chick avatar is in real life a pot bellied homophobic construction worker and you can't really manipulate the mouse and your joystick at the same time. I doubt that people are using facebook to actually replace face to face contact. Nope, they are replacing work with facebook in the office. Let's face it. Any guy would have real sex with a fat chick that has been sparingly beaten with an ugly stick rather than have a wank to a virtual Lara Croft.

But we love facebook because by dint of being freinds of freinds of friends we get to see lots of hot chicks and hunky guys in various states of undress and insobriety. AND you can join thousands of meaningless groups such as "We dophins are intelligent too" and waste your time playing zillions of trivia games with inane questions such as what colour tampon does Tom Cruise wear?(What colour is Katie Holmes again?).